the liminal life

lim·i·nal
adjective
  1. of or relating to a transitional or initial stage of a process.
  2. occupying a position at, or on both sides of, a boundary or threshold.

Life is crazy weird right now. My mom told me recently to, ‘be careful. It’s easy for things to go sideways during a liminal period.’ I had to Google it. Thanks English degree.

But it’s the perfect word. Things are transitioning, changing, and no one knows where they’re headed. And while things proceed, I feel like I’m processing the past while trying to find my footing in the future. Which all means that the present feels pretty uncertain and scary and vulnerable.

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I took a solo road trip last weekend in an attempt to find some quiet and do some feeling and thinking. It was beautiful. And I cried a lot. It felt a little scary, to be alone, away from my comfort zone. But it felt good to be resourceful and to be open to the universe and accept what it was bringing my way.

I experienced springtime in the desert, which was new for me, and awesome. I made a new friend and got some meaningful messages from a couple old ones. And mom was right, stuff is a little weird in the liminal zone. I locked my keys in the trunk, got lost a couple times, ran over a suicidal squirrel, and realized that for me at least, it’s probably better to be around other humans for now and save the lonely times for when things feel safer.

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Now that I’m back, my goal is to become more comfortable with the uncomfortable. To stay focused on what is good, on the Truth. To fully occupy the liminal zone and make it feel like home.

“Live through this, and you won’t. Look. Back.” -Stars

“Acceptance is the answer to all my problems today.” -The Big Book of AA

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I brought along my new spirit animal totem. She reminds me of my priorities.
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